Let’s Go Shopping
Won’t you join us for some junking in Kansas City?
(The one on the right is my little sis.)
First, we’ll have some fortification. How about a mess of Ethiopian food?
Nothing like njera bloat to raise your game. Luckily, you’re with the Rudder sisters. We can scour an antique mall dragging our broken legs behind us and still come away with an unnecessary bargain or ten. It’s in our blood.
I love the randomness of crap. For instance, the sacred heart of eat-a-snax:
And this wall of tribal masks, which may be the raddest thing I’ve ever seen (and you must imagine me with my tongue out, throwing rock and roll devil horns, as I type that):
Speaking of horns, I was tempted by El Toro and his manly places:
His name is Chuck. As in the roast, I’m guessing:
Somehow mamacita here seems incomplete. Let’s see…beach hat, on. Lipstick, applied. Joey, enpouched. But where is her cigarette?
Perhaps it’s in her pocketbook.
How’d you like to share your bedroom with this happy couple? Brrrr:
Speaking of bedrooms, that’s for private time when the door is closed, you naughty, naughty monkey:
Archie gets a less jowly version of this look, where his forehead gets all pleated:
Movie tie-in! I found a wild thing, or maybe it’s Ferdinand the lonely bull:
The mall has three massive floors with a pretty good dreck-to-acceptable ratio. While it’s mostly filled with unwantables, there are a good number of modern oddments and midcentury delectables, with enough quirk to send me shivering. The upper floors are, ah, rustic, though, and the flooring’s a little airy for my taste:
That’s the first floor, as seen from the second floor, by the way…
Whew, quite an adventure, and we escaped for less than ten bucks each. Now we just need to make a quick stop here before we put our pajamas on:
Thanks for shopping!
Tags: antique mall, bull, dog, el toro, ethiopian food, gene simmons, junk, kansas city, masturbation, monkeys, njera, tribal masks, wild things
November 19th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Oh Ethiopian food! You lucky stuffed girls.
November 19th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
A Filipina friend of ours went antique mall shopping once and purchased the gift of a what appeared to be a large wooden salad bowl with a big dick perched on the rim. It looked to be carved out of a single piece of some exotic wood. I couldn’t figure out its function. It wasn’t an ashtray-too combustible for that. I don’t really know anyone who’d serve a salad in it. I have to say I found it disturbing. My guess is it was a curio brought home from Papete by some sailor who bought it after visiting the equivalent of Tipsy’s. I left it in the look-through items at the landfill in Oxford, NC.