Either you’re following the Jon & Kate Plus Hate affaire scandale, or you’re in a blessedly media-free hole and haven’t heard about henpecked hub stepping out on fecund harpy (who may be getting busy with beefcake bodyguard). And lo, you’re better off in the latter category, although I am of the ovarian persuasion and confess a thing for the 4-eyed sextuplet who loves animals, which prompted me to catch the occasional episode of their slow trainwreck cable hit.

But trust me, you don’t need specifics to understand this:

Kate Gosselin has midwestern hair.

I know she gets it colored all special, as befits a big-time cable star, but as far as I’m concerned, those are just rainbow streaks from a red, red state. And that frozen upfoofery in the back? Loyal readers know hairduckus midwesternis when they see it. And not only that, it’s crispy-fried duck’s ass. She looks like a pharmaceutical rep from Fremont, handing out samples and gladhanding the docs over Applebees-to-Go in the breakroom.

NO GAY MAN TOUCHED THIS HAIR, (unless it was a pageant queen with mean streak).

Sister tried to go uptown, but she ended up in Nebraska instead.

Tags: cable tv star, jon and kate plus 8, midwestern hair, pharmaceutical rep

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 13th, 2009 at 1:02 pm and is filed under Whatevs. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.